Catching up

[Murfreesboro]

Without living there, it's hard to know what was really going on between those two women. Since your Aunt Betsy did pass away, perhaps she just wasn't feeling well much of the time.

I'm sure you'll choose wisely for Millie's companion. As for her diet, I think much of our longevity is beyond our control. We want to think we have more power over these things than we do. Obviously, dissipation is likely to wreck our health. But beyond that, I think all this fastidiousness about what we eat and how hard we exercise, etc, is probably not going to add much to our time here. At most,, it may make us feel better while we are here.

My experience of child bearing taught me that most of these things are beyond our control. Because of the cord issues I had with my boys, I learned that things can go terribly wrong in a great big hurry and it's nobody's fault. Since then, I've heard younger women pontificate about how they'll have babies at home, etc, and I always beg them not to do that. Nobody at the hospital is going to force feed you drugs if you don't want them. The medical folks are just there to make sure the baby is ok if something very unexpected happens. But nobody ever listens to me when I say these things. The young women think they'll be OK because they are smart and strong willed. And usually they are right. But what they don't recognize is that I was smart and strong willed, too. One way or another, life teaches humility to all of us.

Re the elderly, the best arrangement I ever saw was my aunt's out in CA, who lived to be 90. A few years before she died, maybe 7 or 8, her adult kids sold her house for a pretty penny. Then they used some of that money to build a tiny house in my cousin's backyard. During the day, a hired companion stayed with her. At night, a family member would sleep with her. With four kids and multiple grandkids in the area, they rotated the nighttime duty. She was well looked after and was able to spend some time at her son's house when it suited everyone. But she had her own place, and so did he and his family. Now that she's gone, they can use that tiny house as a guest cottage.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

There's a whole lot of truth in your last post, Murf.

I think that every young person thinks that they know everything about everything, and even when somebody older speaking from experience tries to tell them what they shouldn't do, they refuse to listen because they think their way is the right way, but then they usually find out that the advice they ignored was right. Young people have to learn those lessons themselves, and when they grow up and try to advise somebody younger, they are ignored the same way they did to the people that tried to help them. It's just the way life is, it's a vicious cycle that happens to every generation.

I learned that things can go terribly wrong in a great big hurry and it's nobody's fault.

That's what happened with my wife, we had her last ultrasound a week before Phoebe was born and everything was normal, but when she went into labor the doctor found out that Phoebe had somehow turned around in the womb, and she had to have the Caesarean birth. My wife looks back on it now and jokes that even then Phoebe was doing flips.

Nobody at the hospital is going to force feed you drugs if you don't want them.

Yeah, especially because you have to pay for them.

Regarding your aunt's living arrangement, I think that it's a good idea, and if this was 20 years ago we could have done the same thing for Millie, but at her age now it's just better for her to stay where she is. The truth is that we don't know how much longer she has, she could go soon, or she could surprise everybody and pull another decade, and even if my uncle dies before her we will still continue to have a caregiver there for her for as long as she lives. It's not her house, but it is her home, and if she says that she wants to die there then we will respect her wishes.

[Murfreesboro]

Wow, maybe Phoebe really was doing back flips! It's so rare for a baby to turn again after they've already turned.

I don't doubt that keeping Millie in her familiar surroundings is the best way to go. I'm sure you'll decide what's in her best interest.

[TheHeadlessHorseman]

At the time the doctors had no idea how she got turned, my wife said that when she had Sam and her water broke it was just like a plop of liquid without any pain, but when she had Phoebe she said that it was a painful jolt with a sudden gush, and it felt like she got kicked in the stomach, so she immediately knew something wasn't right.

About a month after the birth her doctor had a theory about what happened, he said that he thinks that the baby got turned by the explosive force she experienced when her water broke, though he admitted that he wasn't sure if that was even possible, as he hadn't ever heard of that happening before. Either way, we're just thankful that she was born healthy.